Sleep? It has become my worst nemesis. I do not really sleep anymore and occasionally when I actually do it will last for 24 hours non-stop except bathroom breaks. Those are the strangest times as I lose the entire day and night.
My medical person says I have Shift syndrome or something named like that. I cannot remember the exact title. She says because I worked Baker hours for 18 years my circadian rhythms are messed up. Not to mention that one of the major side effects of Fibromyalgia is sleep problems. They tell us that if we would just get normal sleep, at least 7-8 hours at night, that we would have less pain, less fog, less problems.
Great! Now if we could just order that up on a platter and say, okay body you are now going to do that. But wait, it is not working? My body seems to have a mind of it’s own? I cannot seem to make it do what I want. My body and “I” are disconnected. And they (medical folks) make it sound as though we are in control and we should just comply with what they tell us will in fact make us feel so much better. And I believe they are very right. But somehow, no matter how hard I try to follow any suggestions they give me on making that happen, it isn’t happening. Arrggghhhh!
Just take your high dose melatonin 12 hours before you want to wake up, go to sleep at the time you say you want to fall asleep, set your alarm and wake up at the time you want to wake up. Now after a quick bathroom break, turn on your anti-blues light and sit with it shining on you for 30 minutes. Yep that’s all there is to it! Wrong!!!!
I take my melatonin, I fall asleep an hour or so after I take it, so all is going as planned, and then poof! About the time I always got up to get ready for work those 18 years, I wake up. Lets see, it is about 2 or 3 in the morning. Yep, and guess what, I cannot fall asleep again. Usually about when the sun has rose and in an hour my husband will be getting up, and as I sit exhausted trying to will it, sleep comes.
Now he is awake and doesn’t want to wake me up because he knows I have not slept in ages, so he quietly goes about his morning. And right about the time he is ready to go take our dog for a nice long walk and run errands in town, and does any other stuff, like take his mother for a walk or shopping, I wake up. Just in time to say goodbye. 😦
That about sums it up. I will keep trying to make it different but at this point it feels like my life will never be normal and I might as well not make plans to do any thing in the morning with him or anyone, because I either am finally asleep for a little while or I am exhausted and cannot function normally. Nor can I get things done here at home because I am so tired my brain is fogged, my body is stiff and sore, etc. Etc., etc., etc.