I Am Nothing But A Fake

Some days I feel fairly good and can bend and twist and not fall over and I do not even feel like I need extra pain medication. And then the thoughts of all I have done and all I have been roll through my awareness causing me to look at all I do not do now and since I do not hurt real bad and I can bend and twist, that is when it hits me, I am nothing but a fake!

The last visit with my healer person, I mentioned that if they could fix my foot so I could walk unimpeded and without pain they might tell me to go back to work until I am 66 or whatever, and she said Oh no, there is plenty of other stuff wrong….

And I know this is true as I live those other things most every day but when they are blissfully hiding, it is then that I am sure I am a fake.  It usually is not very long before one or more of my “issues” rears its ugly head, announcing to me in no uncertain terms, “You, my dear, are no freakin fake!”

Those times are not as frequent as would be liked by me. To have the feeling, that there is absolutely nothing at all wrong with me, I am capable of doing things just fine. But when they do happen, I embrace them later realizing what a gift a few minutes, or even hours of freedom from the constant drone of pain, a blessing of unimaginable joy…

Blessings to you all–

About C. Matusky

Owner of retail online store selling items for gifts and to help folks like myself who have chronic pain conditions.
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