“Before you start to judge me…”

“Before you start to judge me, step into my shoes and walk the life I’m living and if you get as far as I am, just maybe you will see how strong I really am.”           ——-author unknown


Beginning year 2 of my “disability” and stopping to notice that I have won a few battles in my fight to seek understanding, from my family and my friends, understanding without judgement or criticism on my habits or faults. On my behaving or being in a way so many know would cure me of my chronic pain, if only I would….., and for sure if only I would not …., and again if you added this for sure you would not ….., and because my friend did they are cured, …., so why have you not…., and don’t you think if you did this as my friend did you would be ……?

I would be what?  Like your friend?  Cured or Not?  What does it take for folks to understand that no two people are alike.  No two people get cured alike when the cure is not clear.  No two people get sick alike, grow up a like, experience life alike, sleep alike, dream alike, talk alike, see alike, love alike, like alike, live alike, speak alike, think alike, process alike, anything alike!

How could I be like your friend who got cured from … by doing whatever alike if we are nothing alike?  Is that even possible?  Is it possible that because you do not understand my pain, and feel uncomfortable because you cannot fix it, that you pass judgement on me to make your un-comfortableness feel better, so you do not feel like you failed.  Does it really make you feel better and like you have not failed by beating up on me for not being like your friend? Who got cured because,or in spite of?  And because they say they are cured from ____ , and they are your friend, you decide to pass judgement on me, because I am not cured from _____, and am not doing what your friend did, and am suffering and you have no other answers, you dismiss  me. That’s it, I failed the test. Your friend is all knowing and boy if folks would just do what she did…..

So to you, my family and friends, who do not understand, I choose to be me, in my un-alikeness, from your friend, but nonetheless, me. I choose to rejoice in who I am, while in pain or not.  And I will hope that my “true friends and family” will accept me for the unique, un-alike person I am, struggling through the daily regimen with my pain in tow, struggling.  I vow to not judge any of my friends or family as though they are “alike” any other person I know, and promise to cherish them for their uniqueness and un-alikeness. Love and light to all my family and friends!





About C. Matusky

Owner of retail online store selling items for gifts and to help folks like myself who have chronic pain conditions.
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